I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
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All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
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If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
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