I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize