Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
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I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
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I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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