went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize