remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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