gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize