Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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