so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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