tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Pants are for mortals
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize