3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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