okay pat passed out under dana's car
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize