That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
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rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
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He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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