peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My vagina is very pro this idea
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