They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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