She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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