I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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