a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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