how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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