Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
my liver is dry heaving
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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