whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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