Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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