heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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