i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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