So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize