I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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