whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize