I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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