just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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