in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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