So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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