im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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