What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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