how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I think my nap took me to another dimension
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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