my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
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Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
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She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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