brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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