dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
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The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
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My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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