Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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