My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
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WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
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A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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