wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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