I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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