I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize