So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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