Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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