We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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