Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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