You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
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As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
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why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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