all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize