smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize