I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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