so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize